Backlog
I could have exited this trance
But you emerged an unintentional beguiler
You could have been a thespian display
I saw you dancing on the stage
And lately
I have been alone
I saw you picking up the pieces
Records
Gemstones
Assorted paraphernalia
I almost thought that I should talk to you
But could you see my smile running through
We are walking down this captivating street
You said you had to catch the train
I should think to mail you a copy of your things
Broken records that we played
The abandoned wooden turntable
We used to dance around in Misha’s old apartment
Singing Frank Sinatra in your motionless falsetto tune
Couldn’t you convince your deep voice to shine through
Abandoned mirrors with your synergy to prove
We used to brood around third avenue
Catching all the tourists pushing through
Running towards a plaza
Passing as your older sister
Eat a dumpling by your school
One day there was a park bench
Shuffling your feet
You asked me
Stupefied—
The owl sang a different beat—
Which moment I had liked
I said this is a dive bar in New York
There are gaudy advertisements for a hospital to save your life
Homeless people living on the streets
And a man in a blue shirt is selling blueberries on an abandoned corner
I was cancelling appointments
Business is crumbling
In a cab impromptu just to see you
Landing in the middle of an old department store
There are only nightmares made on thirty fourth street
Then you chose a collared shirt
And I whisked you off to dinner
We are sitting at a table waiting for a cup of water
Then you ordered all the bread
And then I ate it
Lexington and Madison
Sip a tonic from a drugstore
You dashed out of a subway train
Treading on the asphalt
Came from Brooklyn just to see me for a moment
But could not follow through
Dancing with too many people
You told me you would like to look at all the girls
Well not explicitly of course
I stalked home in the midst of aplomb and apology
Stupidity that carried through
Paint a visage made of marble
Illustrate a message made of you
You were looking at a movie star
We inhabit many benches
Nestled in a park
The first day you were biking on your way to see me
It was February
And the rain had beat the cold
Stood beneath a plastic clear umbrella
You made it romantic all the same
You should stop taking bicycles
It was almost autumn
Six months is just enough to weather platitudes
And for your ruthless spirit to shine through
I am circling the tennis courts
Dog walkers come through
I always thought I’d harbour quite a memory of you
It is much past midnight
In those old days we always followed through
And did you think you could have loved a girl with hazel eyes
Who always was much prettier than you
Older than you
Another couple circles with the dog
I remember how you loved your sister’s kitten
And would you like me to still show up to your party